Unsung Heroes

Here is a "shout out" or rather a "sing out" to all the moms in Roslyn NY and all the other moms who are a little bit under appreciated. You are the unsung heroes of our time. But I was thinking, what exactly does that mean?

In my town, it means that a lot of women are at home with their children. They gave up the choice to be a doctor, lawyer or chief (of something), usually after they went through everything to attain that dizzying height. They used the choice that they finally had, (with thanks to the "women's lib" movement--though I am not sure "liberation" is really all that accurate)and made a decision to give their families the best that they had, themselves. For that I applaud you! Most of those women are like my sisters. They are homemakers. With out them it just simply would not be a home. They teach their children lessons, academic--to be sure, but also emotional. And isn't that some of the most important support that you can give?

As a mom who works outside the home, I suppose I made another choice. I thought that my choice was governed by economics and the material things I wanted to provide to my family and also I thought I should be share that responsibility with my partner and spouse along with the opportunity for him to be around more to parent. (I also work with him--the subject for another humorous future post). I always fantasized that I could be like my sisters. That I would be cooking with my boys, or doing science projects. In truth, I am not the most patient person. I guess that I wouldn't have been cut out to be home all the time. I work from home two days a week so I could be there for the bus, to meet the other moms and know about the "dirt" on the school etc and to do some of the IQ and EQ teaching and moral prodding that our kids need. One foot in and one partially out.

In the end, I am not sure any of us know if our choices were the right ones. All we can know is if we tried to do our own best. I used to feel so guilty, that I wasn't home. Then I realized that some of the moms weren't really home at all. They had a black belt in shopping, tennis, lunching or that ever present job of chairing (PTA Charity) and were barely there at all. In the end, for their kids, that may have been best also.

So what does that leave me with as my kids will soon be off to their own lives, to their own homes (hopefully someday). A little less guilt. A little more of a sense of humor. A little yelling and a lot of love. And of course, a little singing.

After all, you can't be an "unsung hero" if at least you sing for yourself every once in a while. Who knows, maybe some other familiar voices will join the chorus.